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| 12:35am 11/04/2007 |
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mood:  rejuvenated music: Alabaster
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hanging out with my riverfamily made me all splurge-y and so, I started blogging again. |
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| 11:38pm 15/03/2007 |
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just trying to survive while trying my damndest to prepare for the inevitable...
what's going to become of me after july? |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| lista! |
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| 01:08pm 29/01/2007 |
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Now Playing: Rilo Kiley - I Never
to do list, week 4
email Dr Clark for R meeting
start PAS paper
blog on garden ruin
learn to bank?
sobrevivir este tiempo de difficultad |
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| 2007 |
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| 10:48am 01/01/2007 |
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2007. The mere looking at these numbers in that order drives my mind into a turbulent spin.
I used to sit down and think about 2007. Id sit and say to myself 'wow, I'll have graduated from college.' 'wow, I'd be 21 going on 22.' Used to be the case that such thoughts filled me up with joy, hoping to get to the time when I'd be a full-on adult on the brink of entering the real world. However, I had trouble sleeping last night because (beside foot pain) I kept discussing what 2007 really means now.
Now I see 2007 and think 'wow, I have to go to grad school.' 'what am I going to do, go BACK HOME??' Most importantly, I now see that 2007 is a bigger catalyst of a life-changer than ever before. I did not look past what I would have accomplished before, and now... all I can think of is what comes next.
With that noted, what comes next? I guess I should start with my resolution for this new year crawling sunlight into the room I'm in. My resolution is to outdo myself, and push myself past my own self-imposed limits - more than before. I've been at this actualizing process for some time, and the biggest error of 2007 would be to stop what I feel I'm gettin pretty good at.
Guess I'll also stop eating every hot cheeto I see. er somethin. Whatever happens happens :D. Happy New Year. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Phil 115: Entry 16 tentative introduction for 115 |
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| 05:04pm 27/11/2006 |
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The relationship between the world and those who live in it is a tumultuous one, built and maintained through a constant game of tug and pull. At certain points life slips out of man's control, leaving his soul at the mercy of the universe. This kind of adversity can become terrifying; one may be stopped in their tracks by the hardships that they endure. Times may get difficult, but man always finds a way up and fights once again. This paper will illustrate what man needs to succeed in his battle against the dangers that threaten the soul. In his journey through life, man must keep several important things in mind in order to keep him and his soul going in a healthy direction. The vital things need to care for the soul are presented throughout philosophy and literature and cover ideas such as ambition, persistence, understanding, self-awareness, and most importantly, passion. The examples and notes given us by writers such as Montaigne, Pascal, Thich Hnat Hanh, among others will help develop a solid picture of what is needed to care for the soul, in a world that often leaves us no option but to look out for oneself. The big question will be left to answer: why does man fight back? Why fight back at all? What drives man to action? Before such questions can be addressed, one must first get a good sense of what man needs to best live his life. James Hilton's Lost Horizon offers us a picture of several things man needs to care for the soul, the first of which is the need for experience. |
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| Phil 115: Entry 15 |
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| 11:57pm 24/11/2006 |
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There is a world of difference between free-floating through the universe, and taking a hold of the wheel and driving through it all. One may see the sights either way, but there is a great sense of purpose in the latter.
In The Razor's Edge, we are introduced to Larry, a young man just returned from war. Having to bear witness to his friend's deaths, Larry comes back to America a broken and beaten down soul. What makes him capture everybody's attention is what he sets out to do. To those he runs into and interacts with, he calls his journey a mission "to loaf"; but deep down, the path he decides to take is much more complicated. Larry is on the road to experience.
It's not easy to leave what you have behind and go see what lies beyond, but it is when one has nothing left to lose. Is what Larry does so bizarre? Can't the people around him (outside of the author) see that sometimes it's necessary to leave, in order to find your place?
Oh how amazing it seems to travel; to sit next to somebody only to enjoy their company and nothing more. It's those moments that life is all about, those moments where one realizes how right Voltaire was. We really are lucky mud. |
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| Phil 115: Entry 14 |
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| 04:27pm 20/11/2006 |
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"It is not good to be too free.
It is not good to have all one needs."
Pascal hits a chord within us that makes us agree with his rendering of the human condition. The 'wretchedness' as he calls it, is the nature to be consistently inconsistent. While the soul is a complex thing to undersatand, one thing is definitely clear across his writing; he is against excessive experiences (well, except maybe his..) and he conveys so in such simple lines.
It's a matter of intuition that too much freedom and too much of anything is not good for the soul. Give one total freedom and they will become directionless; give one all that they need and they will implode on themselves, because life without adversity has no merit to it. What is there to fight for when life gives us no opponent to take on? Having said that, one consistency in man that arises from the unhappiness excess brings is the need for a fight.
While people say they much prefer life to be handed to them on a platter, the truth is quite the contrary. We all complain about the hardships of life, but we'd rather fight for what we want than to have it given on a whim. Do we value our first car the same way if we worked for it ourselves or not? The prospect of challenge that we experience in our every day life makes things worth chasging, worth wanting, and the opposite is true as well. If life really were a cakewalk, then eventually the fun really is over, and the taste is never quite as good again. Going from one peak to the opposite never fulfills anything, as one side of the spectrum is always left untouched. |
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| Phil 115: Entry 13 |
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| 07:55pm 13/11/2006 |
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What is our conflicted nature trying to say about us? If we get great plasure from distracting ourselves with destruction, the main reason would be to distract ourselves period - but from what? From the questions that matter the most to us? It really is difficult to face our demons sometimes, to the point where it's definitely clear to see why we all avoid our problems. It's easier to run.
In the end it seems all man really wants is tranquility. Just some peace. Some of us face the pain and find the answers in the pain, and some of us prefer to just look the other way; all everyone wants is tranqulity in our lives. The sad thing is that our conflicted nature makes it hard to sit down and work through things when we're not used to it. Ever wonder why that is? If man is made for both fight and flight, what makes man choose the latter so much more? Why can't we just face reality?
For a species so hell-bent on proving that reality is what it is, we sure are delusional about it. It's a shame too, because the answers to our questions really are easier to get than we think. |
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| Phil 115: Entry 12 |
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| 07:10pm 13/11/2006 |
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p. 485, II: 11.
It's quite obvious that man has a dual nature. What is that dual nature? Montaigne feels our humanity and inhumanity are intertwined, that we are disposed by nature herself to be in perpetual conflict. As Montaigne says, "Watching animals playing together and cuddling each other is nobody's sport: everyone's sport is to watch them tearing each other apart and wrenching off their limbs." (p.485) This has serious implications, one being that perhaps our nature enjoys leaning toward that dark side, the side which drives toward madness and disorder. Freud called this the death drive, Thanatos. When one thinks about it, we as people enjoy making a spectacle out of the violent. If it isn't masses of people watching football every Sunday, it's people watching UFC fights on pay-per-view, or going to monster truck rallies where chaos is all one wants to see, or getting piercings and tattoos... there is somethign to be said about our attraction to pain.
What else can be said about it? Inside us lies a force that clashes with the rational being inside us, a force that pulls us into some sort of escapist mentality. Are we all really that different from those who have borderline personality disorder, and cut themselves, hurting themselves in order to distract from the real problems? All they want is to make the pain go away... and by the sound and looks of things, it might just be something utterly, terribly human. |
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| Phil 115: Entry 11 |
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| 01:51pm 09/11/2006 |
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The issue of who to act for is worth a second emphasis.
If we were to turn to ourselves and act for the good of our souls alone, them maybe the sadness of the human condition would not be so. The true tragedy of man is that he looks to others in order to see himself in their eyes. This really isn't necessary. Can man really grow without living life for himself? Montaigne seemed much happier than most other writers, perhaps because he realized all he needed to be happy was to be happy with what he thinks of his actions: "I am not so much worried about how I am in the minds of other men as how I am to myself. I want to be enriched by me not my borrowings from others... They do not see my mind: they only see the looks on my face." (p. 711)
One can only wonder how great a man like Montaigne must feel, comepletely sustained by his own self-worth. I'm afraid in our world, it's probably much harder than it was in his time to truly ignore the call of the Other. Can man be an island onto himself nowadays? |
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| Phil 115: Entry 10 |
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| 01:36pm 09/11/2006 |
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my apologies for taking my time reading...
Do our actions and the ways we live our lives have any meaning behind them if they are done for someone else's benefit and not our own? Honor and glory really are meaningless if there isn't something self-fulfilling about the actions one does. It seems like Montaigne was sick of hearing about people commiting empty acts of good, almost a performance to win over an audience.
It makes sense that everybody wants to profit out of the things they do, but isn't it tragic that virtue has become currency? If anything, the kind of profit one should seek is from the self, and by doing things for oneself. Montaigne puts is best: "Our soul must act her part not when on parade but at home within us where no eyes but our own can penetrate...such profit is much grander and more worthy to be wished for and hoped for than honour and glory." (p.709)
When done for the right reason, the actions we pursue and paths we take can take us to places we have never experienced, finding a sense of self-worth that is much more worth the effort than anything we may do to impress our fellow man. Our soul is not here to perform for the crowd; we have souls because we have a mission to accomplish, and that mission is self-fulfillment. |
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| Phil 115: Entry 9 |
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| 10:26am 31/10/2006 |
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Where would we be without the ability of expression??? Essay 6, Book II -
There seems to be nothing worse than to be alive, and to not be able to show it. Expression is our means to showing we are alive; it's how we learn, and grow, and prosper as human beings. When you cut off a limb, one finds a way of using something else in its place to act in the world. To be sentenced to complete silence is a true punishment on the soul, and a punishment nobody deserves.
Coming from an individualist society, it's easy to see how Montaigne felt about the importance of self-expression. A healthy soul wants the freedom to discuss its ideas, as dialogue truly is the source of knowledge. Can anyone imagine being told they could never do a thing? As Montaigne puts it, "My business, my art, is to live my life. If anyone forbids me to talk about it according to my own sense...command an architect to talk about buildings not according to his own standard but his next-door neighbour's." (p. 425)
What are we but robots without the ability to prove otherwise? |
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| Phil 115: Entry 8 |
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| 10:01am 31/10/2006 |
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On solitude, essay 39 from book I -
Our soul needs time to be on it's own; to reflect, to refocus, and to grow. It's clear that Montaigne feels that solitude is a great thing, simply by looking at his love of introspection. More importantly, montaigne feels that we should live for ourselves; the best service we can for anybody is caring after ourselves. We can live a good life and be a part of a bigger picture without having to sacrifice our own well-being: "We should have wives, children, property and, above all else, good health... but we should not become to attached to them that our happiness depends on them." (p. 270)
To be honest, the idea of being on your own is not something to be feared. The advantages to turning inward are important to realize. As Montaigne puts it later on the page, our souls are capable of keeping themselves company, of defending and giving, all when turned in on itself. Solitude is just not that awful a concept to contemplate. Sometimes all one really needs is a little time to themselves, to gather themselves and be better able to do anything they wish. While personally it doesn't seem necessarily true that the best way to grow is on our own, there is definitely nothing wrong in being able to be alone. Whichever way helps the soul best is the way to go, and the idea of going at it alone (on occasion), is a solid way to do so. Don't be afraid of yourself! There is nothing wrong with living for oneself. As Montaigne says, "We have lived quite enough for others. Let us live at least this tail-end of life for ourselves. Let us bring our thoughts and reflections back to ourselves and to our own well-being." |
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| Phil 115: Entry 7 |
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| 11:48am 24/10/2006 |
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After speaking on how the present time has us less self-restrained than in previous times, Montaigne warns us all: there is a purpose to being self-containe; it is for our own good.
When referring to the law he argues that it is best not to sacrifice oneself for the sake of change. He says it plainly: "it is greatly to be doubted wteher any obvious good can come from changing any tradditional law...it is impossible to move one without the whole structure feeling it." (p. 134) Those who start things first end up being the first devoured by the reprocussions, that much is definitely true. However, is that a bad thing? Montaigne wants to say so, as he sees acts of such revolution full of self-love and arrogance. There seems to be something missing to his equation.
The soul is not meant to be contained by any laws man has created, and as every instance of revolution has shown, such acts are not full of mere self-love; people are not alone in wanting change when it is needed. It may take one over many to start a movement toward change, but it shows it's for a greater good for all, once one sees that people were just itching to follow one's example. Would we say people like Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr. were acting out of mere arrogance and self-love? Perhaps they were part of the equation, but there is something else causing their actions - a desire for social change, and that is to everyone's benefit. Every soul can benefit from change, and isn't change what montaigne wishes us to do for our own good? |
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| Phil 115: Entry 6 |
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| 11:30am 24/10/2006 |
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According to Montaigne, true intimacy is a rare thing to experience, he himself only having one true life companion he could share his world with. He was so taken aback by the passing of his dearest friend that it inspired him to write out his intimacies instead, alone (wife and kids aside).
While literature and philosophy have much to thank for Montaigne's thoughts put to paper, was he right? Is this higher level of friendship something very few ever get to take part in? One may wonder if this is a product of the times in which Montaigne lived, or if there truly is something ot be said for how rare an intimate relationship is. The present seems to be a spin-off of Montaigne's; the time we live in is full of conflict and uncertainty, much like his. Religious wars still wage on, centuries after Montaigne secluded himself in his estate. If times are really not so different from one another, why does it feel like Montaigne is.. overreacting?
If anything it is a given that true love and friendship is a precious thing to come by and to have with someone else. It may not be as common as the everyday relationship, but by sparking up the right topic or putting oneself open to discussion, it seems like we can find a true friend in more places than we think. Life is not necessarily a one-man's roller-coaster. Family can go along for a ride next to you. Friends can, lovers can, and perhaps the main reason why Montaigne held friendship so dear, is because he never stopped to see that he had somebody there all along, his wife and his family. Times may not be so similar afterall. We are not as self-restrained as before, and that is something to be thankful for. |
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| Phil 115: Entry 5 |
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| 11:51am 19/10/2006 |
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Book I: Essay 20 - To philosophize is to prepare to die.
If there is a great sense of happiness and pleasure that arises from virtue, why would people prefer to take each step in their lives as one of anguish toward the inevitable end?
Montaigne has repeatedly spoken on the issue of emotions and how it is up to the individual to make well use of them. When the thought of death and the pain associated with it hits the mind, people become paralyzed with great fear. This is not the way to live life according to Montaigne. We should seize life by the horns and embrace every moment to make our best use of it. He wants us to be pro-active in life, instead of hdiing from the unknown. "We are born for action... I want us to be doing things... I want Death to find me planting my cabbages" (p. 99).
To think and to do, to cultivate our minds and our souls is the best possible way to live our lives, instead of ruminating in the idea that some day, it will all be over. That's not what we were meant to do. We were meant to live life, not to hang onto it blindly. |
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| Phil 115: Entry 4 |
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| 05:53pm 16/10/2006 |
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"The Sixth Mindfulness Training" in Being Peace holds a special distinction over the others. Whereas other trainings emphasize that we as people must become aware of ourselves and our behavior, the Sixth training has a special emphasis: that we go one step further, and become aware of what is outside of us; we must look at "those we think are the cause of our anger."
The concept of the Other has been touched upon in the book various times, but it isn't until this section in mindfulness training that one gets the idea of how to view the other. Previously the big message was to care for yourself, and that's the best way to care for any and everybody else. Here in the Sixth training, it's a given that we care for ourselves, and now the next step is to develop our compassion.
The quote from the Lotus Sutra on Avalokiteshvara puts it simply: "Learn to look at other beings with the eyes of compassion." When strong emotions like anger rush into our souls, it's very difficult to not let it run free and invade our very being. To look through the lens of compassion seems so difficult in a time where it feels easier to be on the defensive... but perhaps the greatest personal growth we can experience is one where we can look at those who harm us and be able to say, "I understand."
We're all human. It may take realizing THAT to see that some things are not worth the anger we're so quickly to arrive to. |
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| Phil 115: Entry 3 |
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| 10:35am 12/10/2006 |
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Being Peace has become a symbol of the power the human spirit can possess.
The self-empowering message that Thich Nhat Hanh illustrates is a powerful one. In times where people feel helpless and are in disarray from world events, to feel that one can gain back a sense of tranquility by simply breathing is a comforting experience. While it say seem difficult to let go of all the "knowledge" one has in order to let the universe in, it is not the first time people have been asked to become aware by letting go. The power of letting go has been portrayed throughout various periods in time, from Socrates' dialogues in greek times, to Zhuangzi in ancient China, and even Nietzsche painted a silver lining for those who let go and found themselves anew.
It may be misinterpreted to say we shouldn't hold on to 'knowledge', that knowledge is a barrier to discovery. The idea isn't so much that learning is a bad thing (if anything, the point is to learn!); but it is the perseverance of beliefs that is what Thich refers to as the great barrier people face in their lives. Knowledge becomes a problem for the human individual once knowledge evolves into an absolute truth in one's mind.
Being more open to experience and to life seems difficult, especially in an age where we hold on to every answer we can get. However, Being Peace shows us all that perhaps there are better answers out there, and all it can take to be on the road to discovery and understanding, is a few easy breaths and a half-smile before we get up from bed. Life looks worse than it is when we don't take the time to really see anything. |
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